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Well who has less abortions than homosexuals? The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. 38. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? ~ (George Carlin). What if I want to have a crappy day? ~ (George Carlin). The Strange Afterlife of George Carlin - The New York Times The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions. Ice Cube added the brief caption, "Facts.". Tax them. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. Because he likes our National Anthem? If you have selfish ignorant citizens If you have selfish ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish ignorant leaders. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. 54. 104. Quotes A close adviser to President [], Led Zeppelin is probably the most epic rock band of all time. The [], Characterized by a direct and lucid prose, uncluttered from literary devices that seek to please or entertain, George Orwell, was [], How many possible words and phrases are there to express love and romance? That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. Honesty may be the best policy, but its important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. ~ (George Carlin). The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. ~ (George Carlin). It creates a hostile work environment. ~ (George Carlin). ", "Did you ever notice who it is? Soon enough youll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ~ (George Carlin). We are a nation of sheep, and someone else owns the grass. They brought a new era to the world [], An outstanding jurist and the second woman ever appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court, Ruth Bader Ginsburg trail blazed through [], When trying to write about Ariana Grande, one word comes directly to the mind and sums up everything: phenomenon. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. This is the kind of shit youd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And term-limits aint going to do you any good. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Theyve never had rights. ", "The owners of this country don't want that. Im happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. 33. And why would it be America out of all the countries? "Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) And they own all the big media companies, so that they control just about all of the news and information you hear. Here is a selection of Carlins quotes that criticize the political system of our days. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. We dont have people like that in this country. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Its interested in its own power. Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. ~ (George Carlin). Theres only the immediate future and the recent past. ~ (George Carlin). I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. ~ (George Carlin). April 20, 2023, by Libertarian Country If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? ~ (George Carlin). But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity. Best George Carlin Quotes. Pro-lifethese people aren't pro-life, they're killing doctors! They don't like women. Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. ~ (George Carlin). And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ (George Carlin). Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. Some people dream of things that never were, and ask, why not? ", "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. 70+ George Carlin Quotes About the Crazy World We Live in 89. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. March 24, 2023. People like to twist that around. Theres a humorous side to every situation. We haven't tried that for a while. Carlin was brought up Irish Catholic but grew into an outspoken atheist. 18. If he were working today theyd call him a right-wing conspiracy theorist. Continue with Recommended Cookies. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. The following statement is true. Electricity is really just organized lighting. ~ (George Carlin). George Carlin Quotes The planet is fine. There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot. ~ (George Carlin). How are YOU going to tackle today? That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. 76. Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Martin Luther King, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, John Lennon, they all said, "Try to live together peacefully." And theyre elected by American citizens. 27 George Carlin Quotes For Freethinkers and Rebels, Skip our thoughts on George Carlin and jump straight to the quotes, 26 Voltaire Quotes Everyone Should Read Today, Bipartisan Bill Would Ban Children Under 13 From Using Social Media, Anti-Gun Yard Signs Are an Invitation To Criminals. At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Nothing changed. 65. It presents itself as fairness, yet attempts to restrict and control people's language with strict codes and rigid rules. Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. WebGeorge Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) 51. Gov Greg Abbott is using the border crisis to hurt Black-run, Media Matters bombshell: Tucker Carlson caught slamming streaming service Fox Nation, Donald Trump to participate in a CNN presidential town hall next week, Hillary Clinton shares a graph to slam Trump on natl debt & gets help finishing it, See if you can figure out what President Joe Biden is doing in this clip, Charles Payne spots yet another reason to ban congressional stock trading ASAP, NBC News Ben Collins is sick and tired of editorial boards not talking to actual reporters like, CNN asks why SO many of us are unhappy with the country and THIS is why we cant have nice things, Group that went to bat for UVA hate crime hoaxer rages at right-wing media for telling the, Here's the Montana state rep who'd rather her daughter commit suicide than transition, ABC News: LGBTQ+ lawmakers finding themselves fighting literally just 'to exist', Antony Blinken too busy to say if he accepts that Hunter Biden's laptop was not disinformation, California Do Not Sell My Personal Information, George Carlin wouldnt even want to be claimed as your partisan hero and if that offends you his legacy lives on. ", "Here's all you need to know about men and women. Overnight I became a sun-worshipper. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. 29. George Carlin Quotes on Politics - LiveAbout Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Im sure as soon as the election is over, your country will improve immediately. George Carlin Quotes The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Many libertarians--such as us--praise Carlin for his intelligent social criticisms and contributions to a countercultural ethos that perpetually challenges political orthodoxy. When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Tits always look better in a pink sweater. ~ (George Carlin). I have as much authority as the Pope. ", "If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to haveselfish, ignorant leaders. Copyright Twitchy.com/Salem Media. Tweet. George Carlin was born and raised in Manhattan, New York in 1937 and died in Santa Monica, California in 2008. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. ~ (George Carlin). Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. "Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is - Twyla Tharp -- "Let us dance in the sun, wearing windflowers in our hair." Everyone smiles in the same Religion is just mind control. ~ (George Carlin). Anthony Hopkins is a pantheist-Catholic-agnostic who believes strongly in God. It will not be with jack-boots. Be happy with what youve got. People are dreaming if they think they have rights. This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free. I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. This wiki was last updated on 11 Apr 2012 by: Today we're opening contributions to all readers. WebNov 15, 2014 - Explore Boopsie's board "George Carlin:::Political quotes:::::" on Pinterest. Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bullshit they teach you in school. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. "Because Carlin brutally bashed political correctness and used vulgar language--some of which is considered taboo today--many neo-puritan progressives have abandoned him and completely dismissed his brilliant works.It's a tragedy that he was relegated to an unworthy status by so many on the left, considering how deeply sympathetic he was to marginalized groups who have suffered oppression, abuse and mistreatment. 92. George Carlin had a lot to say, and we were always ready to listen. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. 70 Wise Quotes From George Carlin | Inspirationfeed George Carlin Quotes And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. 79. When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. Then youre just what theyre looking for. Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians Here are some powerful quotes of pure humor and sparkling intellect to follow you through the day!